I don't know what the future looks like but I do know that in the past I read a lot of Berenstain Bears books. As a child, my parents read them to me and my siblings. I now have bought almost every single book written by Jan and Stan Berenstain and their equally talented son Mike for my four kids. Their messages are timeless and simple, yet always on point and applicable for the moment. Recently, after reading a few of the books to my kids, it crossed my mind that if the world took to heart the basic examples and lessons demonstrated by the precious family of bears that come from a "sunny dirt road deep in Bear country", the world just might be a better place for all of us.
In this post, I would like to break down a handful of these book titles and pull from them the example they teach and how it could impact our world if we all followed suit.
1. PATIENCE, PLEASE.
"When is our garden going to sprout?" they asked Mama and Papa. "You have to be patient," said Mama. "Have faith that what you have planted will grow in God's good time." - Taken from The Berenstain Bears Patience, Please by Mike Berenstain.
This one doesn't need much explanation. We all need patience. We need it with our kids when we find ourselves delivering the forty fifth-glass of water to them prior to bedtime. We need it at work when a fellow co-worker seems to always drop the ball yet seems to get the promotion regardless. We need it with our spouse and our friends when they don't meet our needs. We need it in traffic and we need it to be still. But lately, we need it more than ever.
Change can be scary. The pandemic has caused us to be super patient waiting for the days to feel normal again. Our government changes and the recent election, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, has demanded a dire need of patience. Hear me out. Things don't always happen overnight. Life happens in the in-between. Don't miss this! Don't forget that between a second ago and the future is the present and it is a gift. Stop anxiously waiting for the perfect time to do the perfect thing. There is never a perfect time. Be patient for your dreams and your goals. Realize that the process is beautiful too. There are lessons to learn and experiences to be had that can be missed when only fixing your eyes on what is ahead. Planning and dreaming are wonderful things to do but only if they don't take away from the path it requires to get to them. It is a path of patience.
2. BLAZE A TRAIL.
"'Now mark the trail,'" Sister read from the book, "'so others can follow the path you took.'" - Taken from The Berenstain Bears Blaze a Trail by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
Sometimes the path you see for yourself isn't a path yet taken so it seems scary to set foot upon that path. But oftentimes, others are just waiting for someone else to go first. Maybe that someone is you. Maybe that someone is me. Taking a leap of faith, doing something different or blazing a new trail isn't always popular especially in the day and age that we are living in with constant images of what is "in" and what is "out". But new things, places, experiences, dreams don't begin as "in" or as "out" because they are new. And new is amazing. New gives you permission to be authentic. it gives you permission to be first at something. It could be an opinion. A style. A way of thinking. Whatever it is, it will be yours.
My oldest two kids, Riley and Bailey, were nineteen months apart. The next two kids came about four and half years later and 2 years and nine months apart. Riley and Bailey joke that they were the "trial kids". I would agree to some extent. Todd and I were young and inexperienced as parents. But with the newness of parenting came lots of first for us together. I cherish those firsts. We blazed a trail together and figured out what it was for us to do this thing called parent/child and we made it work our way. When friends couldn't meet us for dinner because their kids had to hit the sack at 8:07pm on the dot, we just took our kids with us. When we wanted to squeeze in a workout, when would take the kids to the playground and make the playground our gym. We knew that we not only had to fit in their lives but they also had to fit in ours.
Moral of the story is that it is ok to do something different. It is ok to challenge the system or go against the popular way, to spark a new trend or to plan a new adventure. You just might inspire someone else to do the same.
3.THE JOY OF GIVING. GIVE THANKS.
"You know what the Good Book says," Mama told them. "It is more blessed to give than to receive.""We know," said Brother. "We receive an awful lot, so it's time we gave some of it back." - Taken from The Berenstain Bears and the Joy of Giving by Jan and Mike Berenstain.
Have you ever been so excited about a gift you have for someone that keeping it a secret is almost unbearable? You just can't wait to see them open it, receive it and ultimately enjoy it! But have you ever thought about that in regards to Christ? He has given us gift after gift and sometimes we are too busy to notice or too eager to move on to the next thing that we don't take the time to enjoy it. If the person you gave the gift that you were so excited about barely noticed it or acknowledged it, how would it make you feel? Pretty crummy, right? It would seem ungrateful. You would feel let down and disappointed. You would be hurt and probably sad.
Thinking about this makes us feel pretty upset because we are all guilty of this. We take a long trip to the beach and never think about the fact that the Lord delivered us safely to the destination. Gift. We get to see an old friend, spend time with them and regret when we realize that friendship has been taken for granted. Gift. We get a promotion at work and feel so proud of our hard work to earn it yet forget that God had a bit to do with it too and that somewhere on the other end of that blessing is the person that didn't get the promotion. Gift.
But the blessings keep coming despite our lack of appreciation for so many of them. The biggest blessing of all being Jesus Christ and his death and resurrection! He gave us grace. And the best part about grace is that we can both receive and give it. It too is a gift.
So we all need to pay attention to the blessings big and small. We need to be grateful and because of that gratitude we need to pay it all forward. We need to spot those in need. We need to be quiet enough to hear the voice of God urging us to step up and help someone. There is joy in giving. My sweet friend Carol passed away last year of cancer and at her memorial service a friend spoke about her take on accepting help. She looked at it just as Acts 20:35 quotes Jesus stating it, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." So, she thought that by allowing someone to help her, it was ultimately blessing them. What a great way to see it!
4. COMPUTER TROUBLE.
"Computers have their uses - they're great for work or play. But it's not a good idea just to stare at them all day! - Taken from The Berenstain Bears Computer Trouble by Jan and Mike Berenstain.
When I was in college we didn't have cell phones, even the flip variety. We would somehow just know where to meet our friends after class without texting or tracking their location. We had no idea if we were missing out on a party or event because it wasn't broadcasted across multiple social media platforms. We might find out a day later but it was basically too late to care. We didn't have the ability to Google anything, ask Siri anything or even rely on Alexa. And, get this, we survived.
On the flip side, we didn't have the benefits of all the fun pictures, instant access to anything we want to see or learn about or the ability to find our friends the minute we needed them. We didn't have Google to help with homework, Snapchat to make our faces look like a dog or without a blemish, or even a calculator attached to us at all times for instant help with math. Some of these things are fun and super helpful.
But one thing that I can say is that we were blissfully unaware at times. When you don't have access to every piece of news, slice of information and instant update, you don't worry about as much. You live with your eyes looking up at the world, not down at someone else's world condensed to a small screen. There was a bit more connection in a world that was technically less connected.
I am not bashing the internet. I love it! I love finding new recipes on Pinterest. I love Instagram both as a consumer and contributor. I enjoy apps such as Words with Friends. But I know that I feel yucky when I know I have had too much screen time. And I have to remind myself that not everything I read on the internet is true. Recently, I added a timer on my phone only allotting so much time to screen time. It is definitely a positive move and I would encourage you to consider it also. We get one life. Do you want to live yours out or on a screen?
5. SHOW SOME RESPECT. THAT'S SO RUDE.
"But Mama!" Protested Sister. "It's a really rotten day and I felt grumpy and -"
"That's no excuse," said Mama. "It's easy to be pleasant and have good manners when the sun is shining and everything is going well. The challenge is to be polite and pleasant to everyone when things are going badly." - Taken from The Berenstain Bears That's So Rude by Mike Berenstain.
This year, I have noticed that manners and respect have been endangered. There have been a lot of political debates, social and environmental challenges and, the icing on the cake, a worldwide pandemic. Couple these things with the open forum of the internet and you have a perfect storm. It seems like a lot of people think that because it is typed it doesn't have to be kind. Respect for the opinion of others and simply being openminded seem to be things of the past. But it doesn't have to be that way. Just because someone believes something you don't or because they agree with a different outlook doesn't mean that they are a terrible person and deserve ridicule for all to see.
My mom used to say that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I would have to agree. That doesn't mean you can't be honest in a kind way. Honesty doesn't have to be rude. For example, here are two ways of being truthful.
Friend: "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
Honest (but rude) answer: "Yes."
Friend: "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
Honest (but kind) answer: "I think that another pair would flatter you more."
See the difference? Maybe if we just checked ourselves prior to commenting on somebody's post or jumping in on someone's argument, we could have a world of discussion versus a world of division. Next time you begin to want to jump in on a heated debate, ask yourself these three questions:
1. Will I be reflecting Christ in how I comment?
2. Will I offer value in what I am saying?
3. Is this about my pride or my positive contribution?
I want to finish this section with one more note. Saying things with kindness also often sinks in more. When you are rude or hateful or come across judgmental or without regard for someone else's opinion, your credibility will suffer. Say what you have to say if you truly feel the need and then show some respect and also LISTEN.
6. LEARN ABOUT STRANGERS.
"But in some important ways they were different." - Taken from The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers.
This book mostly discusses the need to be careful with strangers in hopes to protect kids from danger. And there are lessons to learn there for people of all ages, but I want to talk about strangers a bit differently.
Our country is a melting pot. There are people from all over the world that have come to the states to call it home. There are people from many walks of life, financial background, age, skin color, height, weight, mindset, intelligence, etc. There are people that look different, act different, have different physical and mental strengths and weaknesses than us. They can all feel like strangers. But do you remember when you first started kindergarten and you didn't know anyone and it was so exciting? You were thrust into a room with lots of kids from different lives and you were swimming in strangers. But guess what? You had things in common too. But you didn't know that until you took the time to get to know them. Suddenly, they were no longer strangers because they became friends.
I am not foolish to think that every stranger we meet will become a friend. And I also know that it isn't as easy now to become friends with a new person as it was when you were sitting with them all day in a classroom sharing paint and crayons. But I do think that opening your mind to people that are different is what makes your world colorful.
7. THE BLAME GAME.
"Of course, there are times," said Papa, "when someone really is to blame for something. But most of the time, it's important to remember there's usually enough blame to go around." - Taken from The Berenstain Bears and the Blame Game by Stan and Jan Berenstain.
It is hard to be hurt. It is difficult when things don't go our way or when we don't get what we want. Marriages fail. Accidents happen. Bad decisions are made. Mistakes occur. Friendships fall apart. And when these things happen, it is easier on our hearts to look to someone or something else and blame them on it so that we don't have to look internally and see our own shortcomings.
Blame allows us to look out instead of in. When we look in we have to get real and real makes us vulnerable. But I believe that vulnerability breeds true authentic friendships and relationships. When we can fail and say we are sorry, we open up the idea to the other person that they have that luxury too. They realize, as do we, that we don't have to be perfect to be in that relationship. We both just have to be honest with one another.
Trying to be perfect and even striving to be perfect is a lost cause. There was one, and there will always solely be, one perfect person that ever walked the face of this earth and His name is Jesus. Striving to be like Him is wonderful but thinking that we can be perfect, not so much. What we need to strive to be is full of grace. For ourselves and for others. And when we get hurt, we have to be open to receive the apology made by another and give forgiveness. But what is even more difficult than that is to give grace when the other person isn't sorry. The do not have to earn your grace. We didn't earn it from Jesus, did we? He freely gave it. I encourage you, stop the blame game and start living with the grace that was gifted to you. It will be freeing!
8. THE GOLDEN RULE. SAY THEIR PRAYERS.
Do to others what you would have them do to you. - Matthew 7:12
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. - Matthew 7:7
Of all the books I have mentioned, these two are the two that I feel the most strongly about and want to finish with a few thoughts about them. Neither require much discussion because they are both so simple yet so vital for our country, our world, our families, our churches, our workplaces, our schools and our humanity.
Treat others as you would want to be treated. It is simple. If you and I would keep this as the guideline to all we say, type, screenshot, share and tweet, it would be a game changer.
Pray. Above all else, we have a direct line to Jesus and it is by prayer. We need to pray. Pray little. Nothing is little to God. Pray big. He can answer big prayers. And pray huge. Nothing is bigger than our God.
CONCLUSION.
We may not live in Bear Country and our problems may be bigger than Mama, Papa, Sister and Brother Bear, but I have an inkling that they were on to something. Patience, bravery, gratitude, giving, self-control, respect, kindness, open-mindedness and a humble spirit are all very connected to what the Bible calls the Fruits of the Spirit. Wouldn't the world be a lot sweeter if we all worked to have more of that kind of fruit?
P.S. Thank you to Jan, Stan and Mike Berenstain for writing incredible books for children that provide wonderful lessons to us all.
